I’m voting to leave the human race,
taking back control of the borders
of my self.
I blame unelected parents
for bringing me into the world,
and a faceless religious bureaucrat
who spoke about an ever closer union
– a single economy of love
requiring the free movement of people
into my life.
I mean, there are billions of them
and more are joining every day.
Any one of them
can just walk in to my world,
move in to my heart,
live off my compassion.
It has to stop now.
At least I have the advantage of being an island.
Of course there are risks:
my wife may vote to leave me
but that would be selfish of her
and its a risk worth taking.
Because, don’t get me wrong
some of my best friends
it’s just that I can negotiate better relationships
when I’m on my own.
So I’m voting mexit
and I’m on course to win a majority.